Family and relationship

A Peaceful Family Life & Relationship [Eph 5:22]

During the course of the ministry I have seen that many people go through problems and difficulties when it comes to relationships. This includes relationships with children-in-laws, parents, children, siblings, etc. If you were to ask anyone about the relationships they have with others, they will tell you that the goal is to have a good and healthy relationship in family. This is exactly what God desires of us to have – a healthy relationship in the family.

It is not them it is you. Many of us focus on others and try to put the fault on anyone else but ourselves – it’s his fault, her fault, mom’s or dad’s fault, etc. It is very easy to escape from taking responsibility of the situation when we put our focus on others. To develop a healthy relationship in our family we need to take the attention away from everyone else and onto us. We need to look and ask ourselves: what can I do to change this situation, what can I do to improve the relationship, what can I do to make this home more peaceful?

Understand that conflict is normal in every relationship. We are all different in nature and in our behavior. We need to understand that conflict is normal in any healthy relationship. When we are in a conflict we need to understand the differences in others and work through the conflict slowly. Although it is natural to have conflicts, it is not natural when we find fault in others at the time of conflict. Do not allow the conflict to destroy relationships, but use it to develop the relationship. Find a common ground and work from there to improve the relationship. Rather than walking away from the conflict, use it as a stepping stone to improve the relationship. Try to understand the reasons for the conflict and work slowly to improve the relationship.

Use time wisely. Before we do anything we need to ask ourselves:

1.Would Jesus do it? If He wouldn’t do it, then you shouldn’t either. We, as Christians, no longer live but Christ lives in us. {Galatians 2:20}

2. Will it bring glory to God? Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. {1 Corinthians 10:31}

3. Can it be done in the name of the Lord Jesus? {Colossians 3:17}

4. Is it coming from selfish or unselfish motives? {1 Corinthians 4:5} Sometimes we don’t receive things we pray for because of wrong motives. {James 4:3}

5. Is it a wise use of my time? {Ephesians 5:16; John 9:4}

7. Is it constructive and beneficial? {1 Corinthians10:23-24}

We need to spend quality time with family or any relationship we have. Fellowship and time together will help improve the quality of the relationship. When Adam sinned, he hid from God because he didn’t feel comfortable in the presence of God. God took the initiative to bring Adam back to his presence by calling for him.

Learn to forgive. (Matt. 18:21) Forgiveness is the key to improving any relationship. In any relationship we will do wrong as well as the other person. How many times are we required to forgive? The answer is how many times do you want forgiveness when you wrong another. Once you learn to forgive then only will you be able to develop a healthy and peaceful relationship. We need to learn to forgive ourselves for the wrongs they do. Some people have a hard time forgiving themselves. They will carry the burden of guilt throughout their life. They are not able to walk in the newness of life which is what God desires. We need to learn that although we do make mistake and sometime we cannot fix the damage of the mistake. We cannot fix yesterday’s failures or mistake. A person who will not learn from the mistake will fail in their relationships. We need to learn to move forward from our failures and mistake of the past. Receive the freedom and peace that come through forgives in Christ. God will forgive us and we need to forgive one other and ourselves.

There are many obstacles we need to overcome to forgive ourselves. A few are: * Do not justify the action of others in the situation * Have a desire to forgive ourselves & move on from the hurt of failure * Come out of fear of that assuming what will happened to me or the relationships. * Overcome the tendency to make decision from emotion. * Give time to heal. Do not expect a quick fix of healing from the wounds of past brokenness.

God wants us to have healthy relationship in our family, church and all other relationships. Learn to improve the relationship by working on your character and behavior, so the work of God will takes place in our life. May God give us grace to apply these life applications and improve our relationships. God bless, Pastor Ben Thomas